Ex-girlfriend Series (part 5, scene 5)

Things were pretty much over between me and you. But you really wanted to be friends, and I figured that you were worth it. I thought to myself about regret. And what I thought was...I can't regret anything about you. While we were together, you were perfect. And after it ended, that's how I saw you...until that one party. I saw you at that party and you went from perfect to the perfect antagonist for my story. You set the precedent for my biggest fear. My biggest fear was to see you step down from the pedestal. Anytime after, I die everytime I watched/watch that. I cry. I was so shaken that I needed to find someone to talk to. The only person around was the girl who would agree with everything I say, and then jump right after you did shortly after. After that one party, I kept on seeing you. And everytime, it would get worse. You would always go deeper and deeper. I remember the last thing I said to you. I told you to "take care of yourself" and I kissed you on the cheek right before I left the scene of the graduation party. Was there anything I could've done? Did I affect you at all? Do I affect anyone? After you, I made a promise. To have a perfect girl is a high demand. In order to have the perfect girl, I have to be the perfect person. Age 18

Are people trying to take that away from me? Am I paranoid? Do I affect anyone? I'm really trying to hold on. Is love conditional?