The Cerebrum Studio: Trisha T.

Tonight we have a special guest, our first-ever special guest. She’s a graduating senior at UC Berkeley. And she’s actually graduating today. We welcome to the studio, Trisha T.. ::APPLAUSE::

Me: You ready?
Trisha: Ok.

Me: What's your life philosophy?
Trisha: What's a life philosophy?
Me: I would say it's the way of life or way of thought you live by.
Trisha: I dunno. I guess right now I would say I would want to live and act according to my values and beliefs, but if I can't, to acknowledge my contradictions rather than deny them, not try to justify them, but to a) improve my actions to better conform to my beliefs and/or b) reevaluate what I believe in.
Me: And how's that going?
Trisha: Pretty good, I think. The hardest contradiction is operating in a capitalist society when I don't believe that capitalism (or, at least the form we have now) is the best system for us.

Me: Ok, to the best of your ability, could you narrate the events of your college experience starting from freshmen year to today?
Trisha: OMG. Well, I remember moving into the dorms. My parents and I were staying at the Holiday Inn at Emeryville, and we left early to be one of the first to arrive, anticipating it would be crowded. I lived at unit three, in Spens-Black (it wasn't the transfer dorm then). I was waiting in line with a cart of stuff, and this curly haired blond boy, his pilipino friend, and his mom were having a conversation about Vin Diesel. "He just looks...dumb," said the mom. And I turned my head away to hide my eavesdropping smile. I later met the blond boy at a "meet your health workers" meeting. I spent many a day in his triple with him (Alek), Yousuf, and Arde, his two roommates. I actually just saw Alek and Yousuf yesterday, and they reminisced about those times.
When I moved in, I picked the left side of the room. I don't know why. But I do remember peeking into rooms as we passed, hoping to see a cute guy inside. Haha. This went on for a while, moving shit up and down the stairs, up and down the elevator. The last trip out, my parents used their radar and found a pilipino mom and dad in a room down the hall. They went inside and struck up conversation. I was embarrassed a little because I didn't even know who lived there. It turned out to be Angelo.
So before I go on, I have to say a little about my background. I grew up in Anaheim for a majority of my life, which is a pretty standard middle class neighborhood. In the middle of high school, my parents decided they wanted to move to a new house, in a newer neighborhood, and so we moved to a two-story house in East Lake Village, a master-planned community in Yorba Linda. So basically, I come from a place of socioeconomic privilege and my education and peers brought me up to believe in meritocracy. My dad was really strict, so it was difficult to make close friends...something I think had stayed with me to this day. I could barely go out, and at one point, he took my mileage to make sure I only went to school. He worked at home, so he was always there. There was no escaping.
So when I got to college, I came with intent to feel freedom. I came with the intent to try smoking, because that's the "vice" that appealed to me the most. So within the first few days of welcome week, I had found myself some stoner friends. I only smoked a little in the beginning, but soon it became a routine. Our gang of four became our building's stoner group, for sure. Every night we would be finding each other in one of our rooms, outside by an old house, or on campus hidden behind bushes by Dwinelle. every night, multiple times, sometimes in the day or afternoon. The weekend was all fair game. I dropped probably a thousand in that year on pot and its affiliates.
Needless to say, my schoolwork suffered. It's not to say that smoking makes you stupid and lazy...but it is time-consuming. Because I had many hang-out spots in the dorms with various friends, I didn't really do Pilipino stuff. I rarely went to PAA/PASS meetings, and didn't know many other Pilipinos besides Angelo. I mean, i knew them, but I barely ever hung out with them.
But there was something. Sometime in September maybe, Angelo invited me to go with him to a meeting. It was weird...there was like no one at the meeting. We were the first ones there and it was so relaxed. I don't even remember what it was about. We basically met the other people. Mark, Karmela, Allynn, Dexter...alumni, Raissa, Jacquie...I dunno. This was COMPASS. And October was Pilipino American history month. There was a visibility week they were planning, the guerilla theatre they were planning, and the signing of petitions in support of a Pilipino studies professor. I remember walking around trying to get people to sign the petition as guerilla theatre went on.
They invited me and Angelo to a conference at UCI Kaba conference and the CCPS meeting (California Coaltion for Pilipino Studies). We went. It was odd, because I really didn't know anything. Another time we went to the house of the grad student on the search committee, Robyn Rodriguez. She tells us what's up, why it's important to have Pilipino studies, and looking back, I have to say, it changed my life. She's hella cool too, and cute with cute short hair. She teaches at Rutgers now, and is part of the Critical Filipin@ Studies Collective. At the time, she was a doctoral candidate in sociology, and that made me interested in looking into it. I was initially psychology and poli sci, and as you can see, I am now walking sociology tomorrow.
Either the end of first year or beginning of first, there was a walk-over to the ethnic studies office while the committee was having their selection meetings. Prior to that there had been job talks that had been packed with students, so packed they had to move them to a larger room. That was word. We had spoken, and they were listening.
So we walk over, and Mark, Olivia, and I had prepared a statement of support for three of the five professors up for the job. We were going to demand to speak. They only allowed one, so Mark did it. Our top choice, Catherine Choy, ended up being the one they chose to offer the job to.
Sophomore year, I move into a house with Angelo and other floormates far, far away. I decide to be more involved in the Pilipino community. I meet Wally through the kuya-ate-ading program. We get together. I lose touch with my stoner friends, and so smoke less. During a break, my parents find my stash, so threaten to stop supporting me and give me random drug tests. I believe that getting good grades will earn me back trust, so I begin to try harder. I also am becoming more interested in becoming a professor and going to grad school. I get involved with PCN. I co-write the musical and pen the lyrics to one of the corniest but best loved love songs in PCN. PCN is bittersweet the first time around. I hate the process. I also hate people who abuse their power. Mark and I talk shit a lot.
Third year, I move into my apartment. Mark and I want to revive COMPASS, but we eventually fail. We are just both really...not logistically strong. Wally moves into my apartment. I'm going to meetings all the time now, just for food. Otherwise, I don't really care, or was that sophomore year? I don't remember. I do PCN again. I dislike it again, and vow not to do it the following year. I decide to apply for PASS staff. At some point, I entertain the idea of running for PCN, but I do not want to run with Dan. Sean asks me to run with him, but I feel like I can't handle it. We try to tri-chair with MJ, but it doesn't happen. I get a research fellowship and do research on PCN. COMPASS had two events my 3rd year: 1) a "collab" with PAA and PASS, the reception for Catherine Choy. I quote it because I basically organized it, and they funded most of it. 2) a viewing of the fall of the I-hotel with guests, Emil de Guzman and Bruce Occena, founder of PAA and former residents and board members of Manilatown.
And fourth year just happened.

Me: Any lessons from college you'd like to share with the people?
Trisha: I dunno...well, I changed a lot in college. I learned about many things that changed the way I saw the world. So I guess I would like to see people take their education seriously, because it's a privilege to be here. I don't give two shits if you had a 5.0, were a track champion, football quarterback, science club president, valedictorian, asb president, and lead in the school play. That just tells me you had the time to do all that shit, and not have to work. I'm not saying that people don't deserve to be here, but I think people act like they're entitled to it, without thinking of how they got there in the first place. It pains me, like really pains me, to see people in facebook groups with names like "PCN ruined me academically and I don't care" or "useless major" or whatever groups like that. Especially if someone in a group like that is majoring in what I am, and I find it so valuable, like things I've learned I will use in the future, and really just shape the way I see social problems and social change. I think it's a responsibility for students at a public elite institution like Berkeley to have to think about things like that, rather than the places to travel and houses to buy. I feel like if people don't take their higher education seriously and are only doing it to get a job, then get the fuck out. I don't care. It's not fair, but whatever. I'm sure for every one of those people there is someone out there that cares about something besides themselves that couldn't get in for one reason or another, that may or may not be their own fault. That's all I can say right now, but I have lots of gripes. Of course, there are positives, but there's no fun in that. I mean shit, if people are only in college to get a job or ‘cause they got nothing better to do, then why Berkeley? Why not community college? Why not CSU? Stroke your cock elsewhere. I think this way of thought is perpetuated by American culture and by capitalism. People think that what's good for them as individuals is good for society...I don't believe that. I do, to some extent, actually, but not in our system, no. I think people are greedy and self-centered to the effect that other people are trampled upon. Life is set up zero-sum. If you fail, then someone else is succeeding. If you succeed, someone else is going to fail…when I don't think that's the case. But zero-sum leads people to compete so hard. I also have to say, thank goodness my parents are democrats. Even though I'm not one, they raised me to think some other things as well, despite all the meritocratic bullshit waved around.

A big round of applause to Trisha for all the stories and life-lessons. ::APPLAUSE::